And Options

I wrote about having an and. Lupus and… something.

I’m not talking about a small and. Some people with lupus list all sorts of other, smaller (to me) diseases, but personally, I feel like it’s all covered in lupus. Sjogren’s, Raynaud’s, arthritis… all of these are things that just come with the territory of autoimmune. These things have all been brought up in my appointments, but I really don’t care to have a diagnosis of something small that they can’t do anything about that really is just included in a lupus diagnosis. I have no desire to have a long list of ailments.

The nice thing about my lupus diagnosis is that it named the beast, yet wasn’t scary. My case is fairly mild as of now, is treatable- though not curable- and really isn’t as bad as some other problems and diseases. Plus, it’s probably not going to kill me. This makes explaining it to people much easier.

The and we’re looking for is not so small. My doctor mentioned a few things he thinks it could be and told me to do research. (I love that my doc encourages me to do my own research!) These diseases have words like “degenerative” in them. “Life altering and debilitating at times.” “Nerve damage… central nervous system.”

It makes me laugh, though, because there are so many similar things between the new possibilities and Louie. Occurs mostly in young females. No one knows what causes it. Can be “managed.” (I love that term. Manage. Sometimes I feel like I do a good job managing symptoms, but often I feel like just managing to get out of bed is a good step for me.)

I’m not going to divulge the information of the various possibilities. I don’t want the rest of you doing research and getting worried. For now, God is still God, and I have an amazing team of doctors helping me to figure out what is going on in my body. And they keep telling me I’m not crazy, which is sometimes just what I need to hear. I will continue to have faith that God will use these trials for His glory. And just as he said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you.” I’m going to hang out with that idea for a while and rest in His presence.