Full Steam Ahead

About a month ago, a friend of mine got married. She is obviously very excited and is loving being a wife. I read her facebook post one day about a day off she had with her husband. It said something along the lines of “Spending time with my husband means mountain biking in the morning, wakeboarding all afternoon, and playing with friends all evening.” While I was very happy that she was having such an awesome day with her best friend, my first reaction was “You can do that ALL in ONE day?!?!”

The thought of having that many activities, let alone the amount of energy expelled in each of those was mind-numbing. I can’t even really remember how I used to fill days before naps and movies. These days, I try not to work more than 6 hours, then take a nap, and if I’m lucky, I have no evening plans. Sometimes I got to church or have dinner with friends, but even still, I’m wiped.

Two years into this thing, and I’m still not quite sure how to do it.

It’s still hard for me to turn down offers and activities based on what I think my body will be able to handle. Sometimes I have an emotion slightly less than resentment for people who can work AND work out on the same day. It’s not their fault they’re healthy, just as it’s not my fault I’m not. That doesn’t make it any easier, though. It’s still hard for me to explain to my friends and family why I’m not chatty or running around or cognizant. There is no way for them to fully understand unless they’ve been in a position where they are at the mercy of their body. (Besides scheduling life around my pain and energy levels, there’s a million doctor’s appointments to juggle!)

For the last several weeks, Louis has been going nuts. Wreaking havoc on whatever he feels like. My stomach, my eyes, my neck and head, my hands. He’s been busy. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep because my hands were so swollen, and when I went to work today, I was just hoping I didn’t have to do something that required folding them into fists, since it’s not possible at the moment.

Yesterday, I was hanging out with my friend who is pregnant, and she wasn’t feeling well so we left early. I didn’t mind leaving early, and I wasn’t feeling too hot either, but honestly, I was a little happy that someone felt worse than me. I’m not at all suggesting I’m glad she feels like crap, but it was nice that someone else’s body was calling the shots.

Today I went to the doctor, and he said, “Holy cow! Your neck is super inflamed. No wonder you’re in so much pain and feel so bad.” Has anyone ever heard of neck inflammation?

If this doesn’t get better, I’m getting out the prednisone and peanut butter.